By W. L. Herbert, F. V. Jarvis and J. H. Kahn (Auth.)
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Extra info for Marriage Counselling in the Community
Example text
If so, the reasons behind this m a y be taken u p . A difficulty which frequently has to be faced is t h a t the client being interviewed will w a n t to talk about her partner and will resist discussing herself After the first interview (and even in this) the counsellor must aim at talking with the client about the client's own feelings a n d ideas, a n d whenever possible lead back the discussion to the client a n d away from the partner. I n this way a more professional relationship will be created, in which the client can be led to realize that the counsellor regards him as important for himself a n d not merely as a channel of information a b o u t the marriage.
For example, a wife referred to a probation officer by a medical practitioner could feel angry a n d humiliated, a n d m a y not at all understand why this has been necessary. I n such cases, the utmost care is needed on the p a r t of both the referring person and the person who accepts the case to explain exactly why one agency is better able t h a n another to cope with her problem. If the doctor can say t h a t the probation officer or the marriage counsellor is specially trained to deal with such anxieties, then he is giving more effective help to her a n d to the other worker than if he says, for example, that he has not the time to help her himself b u t knows someone who might have.
With some very dependent clients, the termination m a y be interpreted by them as a serious rejection, even though they m a y have achieved a degree of maturity during counselling. M a n y others will themselves realize t h a t they have been en abled to look at their problems to the extent that there is n o need for further help a t a certain point, a n d will indicate this in a fairly clear way. Definite lines for completing a case can- 50 M A R R I A G E C O U N S E L L I N G IN T H E C O M M U N I T Y not be marked out, except that, broadly speaking, some pre paration ought to be made—perhaps by lengthening intervals between meetings or by directly informing the client during a n interview a n d assessing his reaction.