By Lisa Rene Reynolds M.D.
Divorce may have a devastating impact on young children. but for households who rigorously examine and deal with the intricacies linked to this tough and scary time, the kinfolk, as noticeable from the kid's viewpoint, can stay robust, fit, and as loving and supportive because it ever used to be. "Still a kinfolk" basically and concisely lays out the explicit feelings and reactions mom and dad have to expect from their young children whereas facing separation, divorce, and its aftermath. instead of weighing mom and dad down with advanced plans, complicated details, and felony terminology, this e-book takes a commonsense procedure, offering readers in a country of emotional misery with the sensible, down-to-earth recommendation they should sensibly and comfortingly consultant their young children via this frequently painful procedure. The booklet covers the most typical error divorcing mom and dad are inclined to make, in addition to addressing designated concerns that arise for children of alternative age teams. it is a much-needed repository of knowledge and functional tips for any relatives dealing with a time of height-ened emotions and fragile relationships.
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Extra info for Still a Family: A Guide to Good Parenting Through Divorce
Example text
Sean had recently moved into an apartment nearby and Annie retained the primary residence with 33 S T I LL A FAMILY the boys. Annie and Sean reported the boys had been “very sad” about the news that their parents were getting a divorce. It was the first Christmas the boys would not spend with both parents at the same time. m. Annie would spend Christmas morning at home with the boys and then drive to upstate New York to spend a few days with the twins and her family. Annie and Sean had maintained a respectful and polite relationship throughout the divorce proceedings, so Annie was comfortable having Sean come to her home to spend time with the boys on Christmas Eve.
Carefully treading, and being sure to validate both parents’ concerns, I suggested that maybe we could come up with some sort of compromise that would reduce the adjustment for Isa- bella but at the same time meet both parents’ needs. The couple laughed and agreed for the first time; they both stated that this would be impossible because they were no good at compromising. I begged them to let me take a stab at it. They agreed. 13 S T I LL A FAMILY It took the remainder of the session as well as one half of the next to lead the couple to an agreement they could both live with.
The rule of thumb should be not to change the feeling your child is having, but rather to find an appropriate outlet for the emotion in order to help the child better cope with it. Talking is not always the preferable mode of dealing with emotion for children (especially very young ones). Help your chil- dren channel the emotional energy into something; doing and playing can often yield much better results. The following is an example of how play elicited far more information than talking could have with a very young child I saw for therapy.