By Harriet Lerner
With wit, knowledge and unusual feel, Dr. Harriet Lerner provides readers the instruments to unravel difficulties and create pleasure, that means and integrity of their relationships. girls will locate lifestyles Preservers (more than 40,000 copies bought in hardcover) to be a useful motivational consultant that covers the panorama of labor and creativity, anger and intimacy, friendship and marriage, little ones and oldsters, loss and betrayal, sexuality and healthiness and masses extra.
With new insights and a results-oriented process, Dr. Lerner solutions women’s most commonly asked questions and gives the easiest recommendation for difficulties girls face this day:
I continuously choose the inaccurate men. should still I movement in with him? I can’t stand my boss. may still I go away my marriage? How am i able to get over his affair? Is my myth irregular? Is my treatment operating? I leave out my mom. I can’t think i used to be fired.
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Extra info for Life Preservers: Good Advice When You Need It Most
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30 / Life Preservers My Fiancé Collects Pornography Dear Harriet: My fiancé, Dean, has a huge stash of porno magazines and adult movies under his bed that he doesn’t know I have seen. I am planning to move in with him next month, and our wedding date is set for the summer. The pictures in his pornography collection are so degrading to women that I don’t think I can handle it. I can’t tell him to get rid of it, because I know he won’t. I can’t even mention it to him, because we will end up in a fight.
Psychotherapy may help, too. But we don’t always need to analyze or understand something to change it. You may one day gather the strength to walk away from a “jerk”—even if you don’t know what drew you to him in the first place. 26 / Life Preservers He Won’t Wear a Condom Dear Harriet: I’ve just begun dating Stan, an incredible guy. Unfortunately, he says condoms ruin his experience of sex and that he only enjoys making love when he performs au naturel. I’m afraid I’ll lose him if I insist on condoms or even bring the subject up.
Yes, we all have them). For example: “Jim, I want to apologize for being on your case about getting married. I’ve been acting as if I’m sure it’s the right thing. But my first marriage was a disaster, and part of me is scared to do it again. ” If you’re a “natural” pursuer, it will be difficult for you to change your behavior. And because my advice may smack of the old “hardto-get” tactics that women have been taught to use, it may sound manipulative. But there is no virtue in continuing with the status quo.