By Edwin L. Klingelhofer (auth.)
Coping together with your Grown childrens is the one booklet to analyze-and lay out particular coping innovations for dealing with-the difficulties latest mom and dad face with their grownup offspring resembling: • failure of the kid to truly "grow up" or in attaining complete capability • unemptied nests • relocating again domestic after damaged marriages • turning your place right into a "daycare heart" on your grandchildren • substance abuse, cult involvement, hassle with the legislation • replacement existence or homosexuality • actual or psychiatric difficulties • or even you simply imagine there is a problem!
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Sometimes none of them will be especially palatable and having to choose among dis- Parent-Child Troubles 45 tasteful options can cause vacillation. If your assessment has been thorough and careful, be aware that stalling because you have something disagreeable to do may be more stress-producing than actually carrying out the unrelished task. Hesitation, dithering, failing to resolve the conflict associated with a choice between unattractive alternatives will simply add to the likelihood of physical and psychological distress.
This is not to say that technological and scientific development have been destructive; life is-or can be-easier, fuller, freer, more interesting, and more complex and stimulating now than it was a few decades ago. For much of that we owe a debt to technology. But these changes have had their costs, too, working to distance adult children even more sharply from their middle-aged parents. Social Factors There have been equally significant changes in the entire social fabric of the United States in the past half century.
Differences in outlook over rights and responsibilities-whether they refer to such trivial matters as the manner of dress or hairstyle, or to more substantive ones, such as the kinds of commitments that inhere in interpersonal relationships-are sources of distance, dissension, and conflict between the groups. Marriage is a particularly apt example of institutional change: Age at marriage has gradually increased; marriage Parent-Child Troubles 25 often follows a substantial period of cohabitation; marriage is much more likely to occur between individuals from different religious or ethnic backgrounds; and the marriage is much less prone to endure than was formerly the case.