
By Dinty W. Moore
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We see something reflected in that mirror, but goodness only knows how close that something is to the truth. This is the best-case scenario. But I am the worst case, or at least a worse case. I misperceive twice. Double Double vision vision. My defective perception creates two funhouse mirrors, smeared with all the usual jam and grime, but one slightly off to the side, a bit higher in the vertical plane, tending toward sepia. No wonder I inevitably lean toward the comic twist. Nothing is as it seems anyway.
Adults were not to be trusted, disaster was around every corner, get your playtime in now because who knows what problems — I began projecting. The old rope and snake. Sometimes you were projecting. Sometimes hallucinating. And I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I look at George W. Bush, and I see your father. I look at Karl Rove, and he might as well be Haldeman . . The war in Iraq is just another quagmire— Dinty. Those things haven’t happened yet. Oh. It’s not quite 1980. It isn’t? You’re not done screwing up.
What this means, apparently, is that boys have a higher likelihood of directly inheriting their ancestral traits. Once my wife convinced me to risk being a father— this took many years and considerable prodding — my Y chromosomes chose the easy way out: our only child is a daughter. Maria, so far, has inherited many of what people say are the Moore family’s better traits — humor, a facility with words, a stubborn determination. It is yet to be seen what she will do with the negative ones. PWffW Similar to the persistent “Beaver died in Vietnam” rumor of the late 1960s, Internet discussion lists of the late 1990s were filled with assertions that the actor who played Mr.