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If they can get you to book directly then they can afford to knock almost all of that commission off the price of the room and still come out ahead. The phone operators in big chain hotels don’t usually have the leeway to make those decisions, but most independent places do. And they gladly will; people who book direct rather than through agencies are much more likely to become repeat guests. The trick is to emphasise that you don’t mind a bad room. Every hotel has rooms that are tough to sell: rooms that are smaller than the others, rooms with just a shower and no bath, rooms right at the top of the building, only accessible by stairs.
He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his diplomatic passport. Oh. Shit. Plus one thousand style points, Admiral. I sobered up immediately, and started to – kind of – whimper. ’ I assumed an American would like being called ‘man’. ’ ‘Probably,’ he said, with a shrug. ’ Robert’s hands were on both my shoulders now, steering me towards the door. ’ he asked, through his tears of laughter. Yeah. I think that’s probably a good idea. ’ I woke up the next morning with a laugh. Had I really accused a rear admiral of being a conman last night?
I reacted to that. It was my friend Zoe, out of breath, having clearly made it to the airport even later than I had. ‘Hey! ’ I asked idiotically, given that we were on a jetway, a few feet from the door of a plane, and Zoe was also dragging a suitcase. ‘Well, obviously you’re flying to New York. ’ ‘Oh, just some interviews, publisher meeting – they’ve arranged a reading, I think; usual bullshit. ’ ‘Long story. ’ asked Zoe. ’ For some reason, my friends love to talk about visas – partly, I think, because they can never quite believe any country has been stupid enough to give them one.