By Robin Page West
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Example text
Unfortunately, your legal expenses will be just as high if your spouse's lawyer takes control and your lawyer simply reacts. And if both spouses' lawyers fail to take control, the case will develop a life of its own, resulting in enormous fees being paid by both spouses to lawyers who do nothing but mechanically follow procedures and never take stock of their clients' goals and objectives. Does this sound overly grim? Are you comforting yourself with the belief that lawyers must do a good job because Page XIII they passed the bar exam?
No matter which side of the issue you are on, no matter what your gender, race, sexual preference, or religion, once you become embroiled in a divorce or custody battle, you are entering a minefield of lawyers and judges who could not care less that your life and your children's lives have been turned upside down. Just as lawyers are expected to do, your spouse's lawyer will drag you through the mud, invade your privacy, and threaten to take your home, your children, your car, your clothes, your retirement money, and your savings.
If you don't, your spouse may misread you and set an adversarial tone. Once that happens, both of you could waste a lot of time and money getting back onto a nonadversarial footing. On the other hand, if your spouse has been bullying you for years and you have consistently given in, now may be the time to make the statement that you aren't giving in anymore. Have your lawyer set that tone from the outset. Remember: the more bullying you accept, the more you Page 25 will be expected to accept. Let your spouse know, through your lawyer's actions, that you intend to be in control now.